Summary
This is the ultimate Fu to Daddy and that's just the tip of the iceberg on how insane this movie gets oh need some more plot threads how about Laura the art historian we know she's an art historian because the dude's like ah my favorite art historian she Witnesses the Satanist thievery so they kidnap her where the movie almost becomes the Life Zone she among other kidnapped women are the ones who are used to be impregnated by the biotech company only she becomes the chosen one where she and others are putting in wedding dresses chained to a pillar a giant Silent Hill like Beast comes in to sniff her then she's lowered into a well which conveniently leads right to hell where Satan possesses her via fire snake she actually asks what's inside of me and they're like a new Jesus a better Jesus she doesn't want to be impregnated with the new Christ so at one point she runs out of the lab locks herself in a closet and then starts drinking Clorox until Satan takes over her body vomits It Up Kicks the doctor's ass and is like don't you ever let her do that again this baby it feels willing and once it's Mommy where do you see the scene where Satan is like oh my water just broke and then dumps a bunch of acid on our hero Oh Our Hero by the way Archangel Michael who possesses a dead priest and go those full-on Lorenzo Lamas like badass mode I knew I was in love with this movie when he puts on the nearest leather coat he can find and then the Devil Inside by INXS starts playing how do we top that I know he gets in a car changes the radio station and plays Send Me an Angel cut immediately to Montage of Biotech companies studying Jesus's DNA if I directed this movie I wouldn't change a damn thing this movie made me laugh hysterically at cliches that I hate it has a fake out dream sequence where a CGI demon baby leaps out of a sonogram with a scary demon face everything about this plot sounds like it would be done satirically on an episode of South Park or like it's a full-length version of a fake movie you'd see on Entourage but it's played 100 straight and damn I respect it for that I love every single actor in this no one is sleepwalking through it they are committed to this material I couldn't get up to use the restroom during it I didn't know what I would miss I had no idea where it was going I may have missed Michael chained up in hell but it's okay because hell has its own version of The Lost Boys who rescue him this movie is like a crazy ass stew someone made out of not Rosemary's Baby but beyond the door the Omega Code a 90s USA Network show and the prophecy this is what I mean by the letter grading system is sometimes flawed it's like redeeming love where I don't know what to give it as a straight up Thriller it's unintentionally funny it's hard to keep track of what the plan is here characters can just freely Escape or sneak into any place they want because security barely exists but the movie does keep the action going there aren't any low Parts in it it is the most fun I've had at a crazy ass movie since moonfall for pure entertainment value it's a freaking a yet the nonsensical script is in the D category so more...